Devine site

A little bit about my day, my family, and my knitting.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Time to Get a New Blogger!

This is SOOOO wacky!! I used to be able to write on MS Word and then copy and paste it into the window of Blogger for my post. And I used to be able to write my entire post and then insert pix. Now the pix only go to the top of the post and I can't move them around. I HATE that!!! I will have to ask Alison, who has the same computer as I do. She's my blogger guru.

Monday, April 28, 2008

We Had Special Visitors

Gerry's older brother Pat and his wife Carol have not been further from their Staten Island home than PA (except for when Pat was in Korea, in the 1950's). Gerry had often offered to send them airline tix to get them to come down, but to no avail. However, Pat and Carol's son Roddy (with his girlfriend Erica) decided to rent an RV and drive down to Florida. They spent a few days in Orlando at the theme parks, then drove down to Delray Beach to spend two days/one night with us. They were the first guests to stay in our cottage since we refurbished it. We had a wonderful visit Saturday to Sunday. Gerry was tired on and off,  but he did get some good time in with them. I was thrilled that Pat and Gerry got to spend a little time together. Gerry said, as they left, that he wanted to go up north in a few weeks to see them again...I doubt that it will happen. so this might be the last time that they get to see Gerry. 

Friday, April 25, 2008

Not So Good News

We flew to TX on Tuesday night. Gerry had his scans on Wednesday and we just rested for the remainder of that day, we were both exhausted. Thursday morning was his appointment with Dr. Kim. It was a very disheartening visit. The doctor told Gerry that just about all of his tumors grew by at least 50%, the worst being in his abdomen. He brought up the scan pictures from the previous time and compared them to the scans from Wednesday. We could clearly see how much the tumors had increased. Dr. Kim took a lot of time with us, and was explaining to Gerry how aggessive his melanoma was and that it was very resistant to treatment, more than most. Gerry then asked the all important question, "How much time do I have left?" to which the doctor responded..."3 months." Gerry was so unprepared for that answer but he didn't flinch much. He said, "Oh...then I guess we should be looking into Hospice." The doctor told him that it was a good idea since they help with pain management, equipment, emotional support and more. Gerry really thought the dr. was going to come back with "6 months." When the doctor left, Gerry got dressed and went to the bathroom. I was waiting outside of the room when the dr. came over to me and told me that he was so sorry, but that there was nothing they could do for Gerry anymore except keep him comfortable. I knew this and told the doctor so. When Gerry came out he said goodbye to the doctor and started to leave, then returned and looked for Maura, the physician assistant, and said goodbye to her (this was the first time that she didn't come into the room at all). When Gerry and I said goodbye and hugged her, she cried.
     I know that hearing this was so hard for Gerry. It was hard for me too, but I knew it was coming and so I was prepared. Gerry has tried to live in denial, to get him through all this. Suddenly, reality hit him like a ton of bricks.

Monday, April 14, 2008


Gerry had a burning desire to see Avi, along with Alison and Michael, so we flew up this past weekend. It was a great visit, although Gerry got more and more tired each day. Avi is not just walking...he's running!!! He is so cute and so smart. I brought a set of picture dominoes. With all of them spread on the floor, I picked up one and showed him a heart. I then asked him to find another one with a heart...and he did. He did it each time I asked him to find a particular one. He knows so many animals and makes all the sounds. He is great with signing and can get his point across easily. When I ask him something he either shakes his head NO or says "Yes!" or "Uh-HUH!" He calls me Nenna right now...but I still use the term Grandma cause I don't want to be Nana. And he constantly calls for "Papa!!" meaning, Papa Gerry.
Friday we went to lunch and then Alison, Gerry, Avi and I went to the park. It was so much fun to watch Avi having fun and to play with him. He was fantastic at running while kicking his soccer ball around the area, throwing his baseball to Gerry, and going on the slides.
What also amazes is that Avi is more than 75% potty trained. Of course, being 17 months old he still uses the diaper, but during the day he almost always tells when he has to go on the potty...and he does. That's my boy!!!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Remember Me?

Sorry that it's been a long time since my last postings. I did try to write, copy and paste here but it wouldn't work now....maybe because I am now using an iMac instead of my old HP and something is different in the format. Who knows? Anyway....
Ok - so I got a new iMac desktop. It's great!!! I love the built in camera - I first saw Avi walk via the video b/t our computers. Unfortunately, now Alison's doesn't work so I have to wait until she can get it fixed. 
Will post more, I promise!!

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

It Didn't Work...AGAIN!

Gerry was having more pain than usual so his FL oncologist, Dr. M sent him for a CT scan on April 4th. The results were that he has no obstructions but it showed an 11 x 5 cm mass on the left side of his abdomen....meaning....the last chemo treatments did not work!! We are looking forward to going to TX in a few weeks to see Dr. K and see what his scans show.

Monday, April 07, 2008

How Dashing!

Gerry's head gets cold, but when he puts on his "chemo caps" he often sweats. So we made a new coverup - not really new in this world, but new for Gerry. I think he looks cute:

Another Day

So - Saturday my man got his fluids and I went to Loew's. I returned, he was done and napping, and feeling good I did more work in the cottage bathroom. I painted the baseboards and window trim and most of the cabinet under the sink. I took out the medicine cabinet and went to put in the new one that measured the same as the old one. Well...the MIRROR measured the same but on the old one the part that sits in the wall was smaller. So I will take the new one back, get an el cheapo one and make a wood frame that I can paint white, for the edges of the mirror. 

Sunday Billie and Eddie came by. After doing some more work on the cabinet Billie and I went to do a little shopping....and really, she wanted to get me out and lend an ear. She knows Gerry since he's a young man so she understands him, his personality, and his feelings. She is very supportive of me, too, and understands what I am going through.

We came back and Gerry was napping, so Billie, Eddie and I ordered some Chinese food for dinner. When they left, Gerry woke and had some left over pasta. These days he LOVES my pasta!!!

Sunday, April 06, 2008

My Dog's Days are Numbered (well, here, anyway)...

We love, love, love our four dogs. They are our babies. But lately it's been difficult dealing with them. Small dogs are barkers, and these are no exception. Blue lately has been barking at everything that moves outside. Oh, there are long periods of time when he is quiet and sleeps but when he lets loose it's so annoying. Orange follows suit, and Rusty with his deep bark is a close third. With Gerry not feeling well it's been quite difficult for him to cope. I feel fine and even I have issues with the barking. I couldn't believe it when Gerry suggested last week that we find a home for Blue. I told him that Blue is half of a set...Orange goes where Blue goes. But at that time Gerry said, "well, let's wait a week cause if I feel better I will not want to send them away." Then this morning he said that he REALLY thinks we need to find homes for them...and Rusty (oh, he ADORES Rusty). We know that our dear friends J&M would probably want to take Rusty - they love dacshunds and have two of their own, but one is having serious health issues right now. I asked Gerry is he was sure and he said yes. So I called my daughter Alison, the original Mommy of Blue and Orange. She and I agreed that we wanted good homes for them, so she offered to help, and possibly her friend would take them. Of course, upon hearing this, Gerry changed his mind and got very angry with me. But I am a realistic person. As he gets sicker, there is no way he OR I can cope with 4 little dogs. Even going away this weekend, to see Avi, would be impossible if we couldn't get a sitter. With me working, leaving the house at 6:45 AM and returning most days around 5 doesn't help matters. I am hoping and praying that Alison's friend takes Orange and Blue. Then we can bring them with us when we fly up there. It will be easier with Rusty and Tiemann, and once we can adopt-out Rusty, having Tiemann will be a piece of cake as he is 12 yrs old and no problem (except when he barks to get in because he refuses to enter if Orange and Blue are near the doggie door). I know that giving up our boys will be torture to us both - I might have to go through severe therapy. And keeping Tiemann - at least one of the boys - would be good for Gerry.

Friday, April 04, 2008

Who Got a BREAK???

I got up early and took Orange and Blue to the vet by 7:30 AM for dental work. Then I worked out at Curves, took Gerry to the dr for his fluids, came home and painted the cottage bathroom (and does my body hurt today!), picked up Gerry, picked up the dogs (and every damn day I have been to either Publix, Walgreen's or both). I was on an all liquid diet yesterday in prep for the colonoscopy today (and the crap you have to drink...phosphate HORRIBLE - I had to drink it at 6 PM yesterday and 5 AM this morning). THen...the test. That was a cinch. I was supposed to come home and REST but I was cheated out of that! Gerry got a call from his dr to get a CT scan of his abdomen/pelvis STAT (they thought he might have a blockage cause his abdominal pain...HEELLLOOO!!! He has TUMORS!!!). So we stopped at the hospital to register and get his prep, came home so I could finally eat a little. Then back to get the scans, on to PUBLIX and WALGREEN'S. Feeling lousy, I still made dinner (which actually helped me feel better - eating, not cooking). Tomorrow he gets MORE fluids at home. His brother Eddie and wife Billie might visit, and I hope to run to Loew's and do  more painting in the cottage if I feel ok.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Good Thing It's Spring Break!

If it wasn't, I would have had to take off this week cause oh, what a few days its been!
Saturday we had a home health nurse here to give Gerry fluids via IV. She was really sweet - but when she tried to put the IV tube into the port in Gerry's arm she couldn't figure out how to get it to go in. She tried to start a new line but while she got it in, the vein kept rolling and so it wouldn't work. Finally, Gerry was the one who showed her how to hook up into the original line (he SHOULD know since he watches them do it all the time). Once she got the line in, the 1000cc of saline should have taken 2 1/2 - 3 hours to complete. After that time only 100cc had gotten in. The nurse said that because the catheter was the smallest one they have, there wasn't enough "pull" by Gerry's veins to help the fluid go in, and the set-up didn't have a pump, just a drip. Gerry was PO'd, to say the least, but he held his temper (which in itself was amazing). 
I had picked up Mom earlier, thinking we would go shopping while he was hydrating. Good thing I stayed home! After the IV was stopped, the three of us went to the Yankee/Marlin exhibition game. The escalator was broken, and we had asked for wheelchair assistance, but Mr. Impatient insisted on walking up the ramp (we didn't know that there was an elevator REALLY close by). Gerry made it to the top of the ramp, only to find out he had to walk up ANOTHER ramp! Once seated, he was fine. We enjoyed the game, although he was so tired, and left in the middle of the 7th inning (since the Yankees were losing). We found out the next day that they rallied and won in the 9th inning - GO YANKEES!! When we got home a man from the medical supply company pulled up behind us with the much needed pump.
Sunday another nurse came and got the pump going. This time Gerry got the full 1000cc of fluid. But as the day went on, he got worse. He had no appetite, not even for water or Gator Ade. He had stomach pains, nausea, tons of gas (boy, can that man belch), and was sweating profusely. We got almost no sleep that night.
Monday we went to the doctor's office. Gerry was given two  bags of fluid. While he was there I got in some errands. Once we got home he wanted me here full time because he wasn't able to move too quickly, bend down or do other things for himself. Of course, we didn't go to the Mets/Marlins opening game. My good friend Lily's hubby Pete bought the tix and went with their son Jason. I felt good that at least someone we think the world of was able to enjoy the game in our place.
Tuesday it was back to the dr. for more fluids. Once again I sold the tix to Pete so I had to drive down to their house to deliver them. A little shopping with/for Mom and then I went back to get Gerry. He was a bit better that night, but because his blood levels, especially hemoglobin were so low (8.0) they ordered a transfusion for him for Wednesday.
Which brings us to today. Gerry had the transfusion today. I took that time to go to Curves to workout, pick up food to make a "real" dinner at Publix, and make some important phone calls. The best, though, was that I caught Alison online and got to have a video chat with Avi. That made my day, for sure!!! We talked, sang, and listened to Alison read a story.
Gerry still has a stomach ache and is exhausted, so he sleeps as much as he can. Tomorrow it's back to the dr's office for more fluids. The nurse practitioner said that all this is from the chemo, plus she thinks he has a urinary infection (there may have been blood in his urine, which they sent away for more testing). For that, he was given a strong antibiotic.
I REALLY wanted to start painting the bathroom in our cottage. For now, it will have to wait.