Not So Good News

We flew to TX on Tuesday night. Gerry had his scans on Wednesday and we just rested for the remainder of that day, we were both exhausted. Thursday morning was his appointment with Dr. Kim. It was a very disheartening visit. The doctor told Gerry that just about all of his tumors grew by at least 50%, the worst being in his abdomen. He brought up the scan pictures from the previous time and compared them to the scans from Wednesday. We could clearly see how much the tumors had increased. Dr. Kim took a lot of time with us, and was explaining to Gerry how aggessive his melanoma was and that it was very resistant to treatment, more than most. Gerry then asked the all important question, "How much time do I have left?" to which the doctor responded..."3 months." Gerry was so unprepared for that answer but he didn't flinch much. He said, "Oh...then I guess we should be looking into Hospice." The doctor told him that it was a good idea since they help with pain management, equipment, emotional support and more. Gerry really thought the dr. was going to come back with "6 months." When the doctor left, Gerry got dressed and went to the bathroom. I was waiting outside of the room when the dr. came over to me and told me that he was so sorry, but that there was nothing they could do for Gerry anymore except keep him comfortable. I knew this and told the doctor so. When Gerry came out he said goodbye to the doctor and started to leave, then returned and looked for Maura, the physician assistant, and said goodbye to her (this was the first time that she didn't come into the room at all). When Gerry and I said goodbye and hugged her, she cried.

     I know that hearing this was so hard for Gerry. It was hard for me too, but I knew it was coming and so I was prepared. Gerry has tried to live in denial, to get him through all this. Suddenly, reality hit him like a ton of bricks.