It Finally Sunk In!!

It's amazing how the mind works at times. Last week the doctor told Gerry that he had 3 months to live, explaining that there really wasn't more they could do in the way of treatment. Gerry had told Dr. K about a trial that Dr. M in Florida told him about, that was being done in Miami. Dr. K asked that I call his nurse with the phone number and said he would check it out. Today, he called us. He said that he spoke with the doctor in charge of the trial, which has not started yet, and that Gerry is not a candidate for it. He is also not a candidate for any other trials or treatments, that all they can do is make him comfortable. Once again, he suggested that we call Hospice. He was very apologetic. No need for that.... this man, in over 2 years, has been wonderful to Gerry and myself, and we feel that he did all he could to try and stop/shrink the melanoma inside Gerry.  When I got off the phone I told Gerry what was said.... and, he finally "got it!" He said, "I have been given a death sentence," to which I agreed. "What do I do now?" he asked me. I told him, "You live every day as well as you can." For the first time, we sat and had a good talk about the situation. I told Gerry that in the coming weeks we will have to discuss things... final arrangements, the time before... does he want to be at home or in the hospice setting? He said he will give both some thought, but I believe that he wants to be home till the end - and that's fine with me!

     Tonight he was in a pretty good mood. We picked up some cigars on the Avenue (I told him that he shouldn't smoke them... in 20 years, they could give him cancer! - he laughed), we sat on the beach while he smoked a small cigar, then went to have ice cream at Kilwin's. In spite of this afternoon, it was a really nice night.